Anti-family Gathering Strategist T-Shirts

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Christmas Tree

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Hi-yah!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

Polygamists' Picnic

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

celebrating a birth.

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."