Anniversary Of Divorce Pillows

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Playing Fetch.

Killer Executive Suits.

You're my Mona Lisa.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

LAY ZEE FUK

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Sloaney Pony.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Demure lady with gloves

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Cry babies.