Animal Tester T-Shirts

IQ Maze Labs: 'Sir, the rats are organizing a union!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

Pet Entertainers

'I'll take him.'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

The life of penguins.

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

'Get me everything you have on bunny rabbits.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"So Dennis, Daphne tells us you work for Delta Medical Research Laboraties."

"Invisible fences, voiced activated pet doors, automatic pet dispensers, how's an old dog supposed to keep up with all this new technology."

"What happened to what cat?"

Ophiologist

A recurring crisis at the Farkinski farm

'Hey, dude. Did you get a look at this sign?'

"Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to find this place."

'Hello? Animal control?'

The Lion Tamer.

'Nowadays kiddo, we just need to herd the sheep, but my grandfather had to protect them from wolves!'

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

Crash Test Dummy Funerals.

"I read somewhere that he thinks we're very large, very odd dogs."