Pet Product Testers T-Shirts

"Invisible fences, voiced activated pet doors, automatic pet dispensers, how's an old dog supposed to keep up with all this new technology."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Pet Entertainers

"Your meal sounded nice."

'I'll take him.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

Protoplasm

Avocado Timeline

Rust test in progress.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"Now how did she know?"

"The pay for field testing our new lures isn't much, but you get to keep all the fish you catch."

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

Product Testing Department

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

Big Burgers.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"So Dennis, Daphne tells us you work for Delta Medical Research Laboraties."

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

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"It's all good – but some of it is better."