Animal Rights Pillows

"It's just a theory, but perhaps it's their opposable thumbs that makes them crazy."

'The GPS eliminates all the guesswork.'

"Do you ever ask yourself 'humanely raised' for what?"

'To demonstrate that it's nothing personal I brought you some pills for the headache.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I go home today. They cured me using this new miracle drug. I'm afraid it'll be years before it's approved for humans."

Animals Testing on Humans: 'Don't worry, they don't feel pain the way we do.'

'Are you aware that you have suffered irreparable pain and distress due to this company's discriminatory policies.'

"Karl! What happened?"

"After they've foudn a cure, will you continue in the field of medical research?"

Aren't we entitled to compensation, since they stole twittering and tweets from us?'

'Our story is pretty typical. We met in the lab.'

The Birth Of A Vegetarian

"Look, I'd rather be free, too, but at least we're not in a zoo anymore."

'I'm tired of being treated like a piece of meat.'

Animals for the Ethical Treatment of People

"What the ... they've scheduled my surgery for Thanksgiving."

Thanksgiving is Near

Wingless chickens outside of a shop selling chicken wings

Bioethics Committtee

Free Range / Deranged

'So in summary, if you harpoon a whale enough it dies.'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"Well, this is a reassuring note, Mr. Bonwell: 'No dolphins were killed in the preparation of this résumé.' "

"At this time, we would like to welcome all platinum priority members to board."

'Hey, don't blame me, blame PETA!'

Oh, don't hurt it. Can't you trap it under a glass, or something?'

'No no no, land on your head. Let's try it again.'

"Because I'm worth it"

This is FAKE fur - here's the receipt.

'All in favour of an MP cull, say 'aye'...'

'Save the Smallpox Virus'

Lab rat dreams.

'Now do you believe me?'

"You wishing me a happy Thanksgiving is a microaggression."