Animal Rights Joker Pillows

Waiter, who are those protesters outside? They're from "PETFS": People for the Ethical Treatment of Flies in Soup.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"I have no thumbs."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"Be kind"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

Save the unicorn.

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

'I don't trust humans: Some times, they throw us bread, some other times, they shoot at us!'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'I can't recommend the beef.'

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

'I got a birdie, an eagle, and a lawsuit from animal rights activists.'

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'Oh, it is so totally on, now!'

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'