Animal Peace Advocate T-Shirts

'Guarding the house was alright, but I left him when he wanted me to become an attack dog...'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

Support group for sheep.

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"Tallyho!"

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Be kind"

The Golfing Accident

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'