Animal Lover Debate Enthusiast Pillows

"On scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being 'can't live without him', how close were you to the cat?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

The Zoo.

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Seagiraffes

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

Oligarchy

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Dialogue

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

"The hyenas started it."

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'