Animal Judging T-Shirts

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

Trial by Media

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Good boy."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

I love Lawyers

'Court's in recess!'

Barristers

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Now that's a win."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"You call this a constitution?"

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."