Animal Gourmet Pillows

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

Dog Chow Mein

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

Four Star Meal

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'We'd like something new and improved for dinner.'

"She's eating in tonight."

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

Veggie Hamburgers & Hotdogs. . .Ingredients: vegetables & vegetable byproducts.

"The slow approach, the suspicious sniff, the final turning away...nobody does finicky like Precious."

"Where do you draw the line?"

'Anybody bring some catsup?'

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

"Cat Yummies again?"

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

'The cat is finicky and he likes this flavor.'