Animal Experiment Critique T-Shirts

"If he presses the first lever, some food comes out; the second level, some candy comes out; the third lever, a female mouse comes out. After a week, he's looking for another lever."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Young Frankenstein"

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Jr. cloning kit

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

"I thought you wanted me to change."

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

Small child building a large contraption from junk

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

'You did help Junior with his science project.'

Science Fair Judgements

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."