Animal Documentary Aficionado Pillows

'I see we're victimized by yet another nature show. It's like we're the Washington Generals of the animal kingdom.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

Finding Bigfoot

'I guess our fifteen minutes are up.'

"It's really a long cave...prepare to binge watch."

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

"We'll have whatever they are at the next table."

"Okay - I can see you now."

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

Filming the Crocodile.

"Why doesn't Ken Burns make a documentary about this?"

Paul the house sparrow, yet another of life's creatures undone by the David Attenborough cameras.

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

Field guide to North American plumbers

"Harold... they know."

'I'm sorry, but I'll have to eat you. . . they're filming a documentary.'

"Could you guys come back later? We're not exhibiting our best behaviors."

"Talk about evil creatures, cats seem to have taken over the internet: They're everywhere!"

Happy Birthday, Bimba

"Hooowwwwlll!!"

"Forget it, he's got a brain the size of a walnut: No point reasoning with him to let us cross..."

"I've been in three documentaries, but I've never been nominated."

What's on? A duckumentary.

'Do you mind if we switch to the Discovery Channel? There's a wonderful show on migratory habits of gray seals.'

'Sheep love tales very much.'

Noahs Ark

...and now Blue Planet two...

Colin's attempt to convince friends that his 80' surround sound TV was only used to watch nature documentaries was doomed to failure.