Animal Clinic Staff Pillows

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

'First we treat! Then we'll worry about a diagnosis!'

'I'm not saying that you're not a good vet, Doctor Scott, but not once this year have you agreed with a diagnosis I made.'

A Vet's Fight with a Chimpanzee

'I'd like to have her spayed and neutered!'

"Mr. Wakefield and Bowser? Or Bowser and Mr. Wakefield?"

Samaritan Pet Hospital

'Don't use too much suction on that Chihuahua, Teresa.'

'Don't be alarmed. That's Rex, from down the street. Rex is a drug addict. No, Rex! Go home bu! Home Rex!'

'It was one of those last resort operations!...

'Sure I could do it for less, but my philosophy is if I can't make a decent living practising veterinary medicine, then I'll do something else. I could farm!"

'No, I didn't call you a degenerate.'

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

Veterinary drive thrus.

'What you have is a very, very sick toad.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

"You want a second opinion,,,You're an idiot,"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

Labrador for sale

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"Do you have one that has a snooze button?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."