Angsty Intellectual Pillows

Philosoraptors

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

The intellectual.

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Interview Dr. Witt for your esteemed journal? Of course, as soon as his play period is over.'

'Checkmate!'

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

The Ascent of Man.

Shakespeare Ave

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"Care for an oxymoron?"

'...Would you like me to try out my Big Bang theory?'

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

'I want a classic that reveals eternal truths, absolute justice and moral courage without challenging my basic prejudices.'

'She must have been a teacher.'

School of Fish

Looking Daggers

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

"Miss Edgeworth, tear down this wall."

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

"So how come you never sent them a 'common-sense' pandemic."

'What do you mean fishing is the thinking person's sport? How smart are fish?'

"I've learned to express my anger through my writing instead."

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

Mathematician Food Fights.

'Doctor Luftkopf is working on a United Field CONSPIRACY Theory.'