Angst Analyst Pillows

'If you want to yell at our service agent because you're a frustrated psycho who has no say at home or work, and want to take it out on others, press 1.'

Worry tank

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

Free-Floating Anxiety

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Hell: The Airport"

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

Hypochondria Hospital

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

"You call that worrying?"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

Teenage Shakespeare

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"I feel we're making progress."

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'