Anger Whisperer Gifts

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

"If you follow my ten-step program, you'll be able to channel your anger better and become a more efficient predator..."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

Creative accounting.

"I'll check and see if he's available."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

"Your wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on."

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

"I have eight spirits coming through."

"Shoot it? Shoot it? I don't even know which end of the darn thing to aim at it!"

"Hi darling - I've just come back for my iphone...!"

"I have grave news."

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

Surfer and the Whale

The Paranormal Society...

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

"I'll be very candid with you, Mr. Simmons. There's a disturbing lack of transparency in your proposal!"

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

"You can stop straining. I read the message wrong. It's 'crop' circle...my bad sorry."

"Instead of poison, I introduce liberal, intellectual ants into the population, eroding the ants' patriotism and causing them to question the authoritarian rule of the queen. Slowly, over generations, it weakens the ants' genetic resolve to the point where they stay in the nest at all times, watching television and writing letters to the editor."

"My turn."