Angels Pillows

'Whenever I complained that my feet were killing me, nobody believed me.'

"Actually, it's pronounced 'An-hel'."

'We're from Manhattan."

"I died in Buffalo."

"Meet Elvis?? Sorry, but they were right. . . He's alive and well on Earth!"

Damn defibrillators.

'You didn't think you could get away from us that easily, did you?'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"Does anyone else's robe say 'Hyatt'?"

'Yeah, I knew you got wings when you went to heaven, but this isn't what I had in mind!'

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

Supply was out of harps.

"Apparently, too much of a good thing is a bad thing."

"I guess this is as good as it gets."

"I'm your guardian angel, I can't mind my own business."

The Land Of Milk And Honey: Day 1

"Is he the God of the Old or the New Testament this morning?"

'ETERNITY-with my varicose veins?'

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

"And of course it comes with an after lifetime guarantee."

"I guess what I miss most is being drunk."

"You were a veterinarian? Would you take a look at my left wing?"

"Spoiler alert!"

Life on cloud 8

'Sorry, you can't take it with you...that includes your iphone.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'In doggy heaven, everyone is allowed on the couch.'

"Curiosity?"

'I'm picking up way more channels than I ever did with just the halo.'

'We've always used profiling.'

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'You didn't have to kick the bucket that hard.'

Bless yourself.

"You must be new here..."