Angelic Stock Watcher T-Shirts

...I like to check on how my stock are doing

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

God's failing sales chart in evidence at meeting. God says 'Okay, any ideas?'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Eternity isn't so bad - as long as I can keep track of how my earthly investments are doing."

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

Death of the pope.

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

Movie Angel

Library In Heaven Stocks The Bible And Only The Bible

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'