Angelic Nostalgia Pillows

'I'm happy for eternity, but I still miss happy hour.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Local News in Heaven

Halo Frisbee.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Keyboard in Heaven

Smashed harp...

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

'The Christ Child'

Death of the pope.

"When you testify, Marty, tell the truth and let the lawyers go to hell."

'For the first year, you'll be required to bring me MY slippers.'

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

The first book signing.

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

Angel versus kite...

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

Angel with dog playing fetch attached.

Demon sticking his tail through female angel's halo

'Actually we were hoping for someone on drums.'

"Yes, I must admit I've done rather well here."

'I always wore white clothing, so I would be visible to traffic, but then I was knocked down by a snow plough.'

'Sorry, the 'Guns Everywhere' law is not in effect up here!'

Angel watching Soul Train

'Most of us choose the wings. Fred picked the hat.'

'You won't find much use for that, most celebrities go to the other place.'

'They were all out of wings.'