Angelic Nostalgia Pillows

'I'm happy for eternity, but I still miss happy hour.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Local News in Heaven

Halo Frisbee.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Keyboard in Heaven

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

Smashed harp...

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'The Christ Child'

"When you testify, Marty, tell the truth and let the lawyers go to hell."

'For the first year, you'll be required to bring me MY slippers.'

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

Death of the pope.

The first book signing.

Angel versus kite...

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

Demon sticking his tail through female angel's halo

'I see my wife made it in.'

Angel with dog playing fetch attached.

Plus, it keeps it warm.

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

'Actually we were hoping for someone on drums.'

"Yes, I must admit I've done rather well here."

'I always wore white clothing, so I would be visible to traffic, but then I was knocked down by a snow plough.'

'You won't find much use for that, most celebrities go to the other place.'

'Most of us choose the wings. Fred picked the hat.'

Heavenly Reward For Women Whose Husbands Didn't Listen...

'Sorry, the 'Guns Everywhere' law is not in effect up here!'