Angelic Loyalty Pillows

"Hello, Ms. Fergis? I'm afraid I won't make it into the office today - I've just died."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Halo Frisbee.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

'Beer, wouldn't be heaven without it.'

'In doggy heaven, everyone is allowed on the couch.'

'The Christ Child'

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

Chicken Soup For The Soul's Soul.

'What's the pass-word?'

"When you testify, Marty, tell the truth and let the lawyers go to hell."

"A couple of contact tracers are out here asking questions."

Death of the pope.

Heaven - Under New Management.

'Yes, I'm sure they'll let you watch your soap operas, grandma.'

"Which countries have you visited recently?"

Welcome to Heaven - For a Limited Period Only

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

Angel changing a star lightbulb

If you don't mind throwing tennis balls for eternity, I do have an opening in doggie heaven.

Notice -To the Naughty Cloud

Steve Spermatozoa, dead at 35 from terminal horniness.

'I see my wife made it in.'

don't look but there goes Marie-Antoinette

Plus, it keeps it warm.

'Actually we were hoping for someone on drums.'