Angelic Gatekeepers Pillows

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"All we have left is standing room only."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

Gates of heaven

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

'In doggy heaven, everyone is allowed on the couch.'

'Location, location, location.'

"Tell the Boss that we have a MAJOR computer glitch!"

'Hey, come on -- You've got to believe in yourself!'

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

'Damned tourists.'

I'd like to check my e-mail...

"Hold on—I forgot to stamp your hand."

'Say that again and you're a dead man!'

'Uh oh. Here comes the eternal revenue... I hope your taxes are in order.'

"For a while I was worried. I was afraid you wouldn't need locks up here."

"I died in Buffalo."

BEWARE OF THE GOD.

'So, you didn't get to die with dignity. Who does? I choked to death on a bag of marshmallows, while sitting in a bathtub full of hot chocolate.'

Heavenly Tennis.

'No way you're getting in here with THAT mustache!'

"A lot of them I only pretend to watch over."