Angelic Engineers Pillows

"Just between you and me, the universe would move in much less mysterious ways if the spark plugs and the oil were changed on a half-way regular basis."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Angel playing music

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

"I hear they're desperate for new users."

Death of the pope.

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."

"Tell the Boss that we have a MAJOR computer glitch!"

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

"Free wifi and unlimited refills are nice, but frankly, I expected more."

'Just sayin' it was a lot more relaxing around here before they invented ‘the Cloud.''

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

I'd like to check my e-mail...

Angel with dog playing fetch attached.

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

Demon sticking his tail through female angel's halo