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"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'I caught one, I actually caught one.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Angel in heaven walking a dog that is peeing off of a cloud

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

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'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

'Just follow my voice to the checkout stand.'

"It was bad enough learning to master the use of wings here but roller-blades must have been a nightmare!"

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

Corporate Entertainment Area

"I hear they're desperate for new users."

'It's not always the Catholics who seem the most disappointed.'

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"That's the first time I've heard 'My Way' played on a harp."

Death of the pope.

'Management says we've had it too good for too long. They're demanding concessions.'

Angels waiting at baggage reclaim for their harps.

'This is as far as I can go. I was only playing dead.'