Angelic Antagonist Fan Pillows

"What seems to be yer problem Art?"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Shoe repair

God's failing sales chart in evidence at meeting. God says 'Okay, any ideas?'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

"It's true. God appeared to Trump in a dream and told him to run for president."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"I think it's funny, but that guy may have a problem with it."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

Heavenly Take Out

'Just pretend they're not here. They're my transition team.'

Water Balloons.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

Death of the pope.

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

'I'd feel very fortunate if I were you. My music WAS appreciated in my lifetime, and then played to death in elevators and shopping malls!'

"Artie, you would not believe what’s going on down there."

"Looks like you have Heaven Basic."

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

"Yeah - I keep getting aborted."