Angelic Antagonist Fan Pillows

"What seems to be yer problem Art?"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Shoe repair

God's failing sales chart in evidence at meeting. God says 'Okay, any ideas?'

"It's true. God appeared to Trump in a dream and told him to run for president."

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

"I think it's funny, but that guy may have a problem with it."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Water Balloons.

'Just pretend they're not here. They're my transition team.'

Death of the pope.

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

'I'd feel very fortunate if I were you. My music WAS appreciated in my lifetime, and then played to death in elevators and shopping malls!'

Inventive Uses of Halo

"You're lucky that your parents donated a building to Heaven."

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

"Yeah - I keep getting aborted."