Angelic Administrator Prints

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"The wings are addictive."

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

Minister's in/out boxes say sow and reap.

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"He's very proud of his stomach's 'good bacteria'."

"Sin tax? I love it."

Danger! Snake heaven.

'I should have prefaced my advice with the statement that I'm not an expert on the market.'

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

"Tell the Boss that we have a MAJOR computer glitch!"

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

'Damned tourists.'

'Aren't you a little worried all that begatting will get out of hand?'

I'd like to check my e-mail...

Celestial Music

'Uh oh. Here comes the eternal revenue... I hope your taxes are in order.'

Heavenly politics. Campaigns here are different from those down on earth. Saint Peter has a complete file on everybody, so there's total transparency up here. Our debates are friendly and the ads are all positive. And here the incumbent in the highest office always runs unopposed. That's all true, but in one way the camaigns up here are just like the ones on earth. They go on for eternity.

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'