Ancient Text Afficionado Gifts

'And on the 8th day God held a sale'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

"Do you do much walking?"

"Wow, what a DILF."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Uh-oh - climate change."

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Maternity ward.

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

CEO, CFO, MOO.

William Shakespeare Civil Court Judge. Well, you can legally change your name, but it won't make any real difference, Rose.

'Now that I'm King, no more of that 'Eddie' stuff, Mom.'

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hang on, I'll Google it.

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"Boss, I didn't understand your memo. It reads 'W.U.W.T.M.S.A.' What does that mean?"

"I've just been gazumped!"

Football anagrams: U.S.A. Has oil (Answer: Louis Saha)

Oh, so that's 'how it's hanging'!

The Perpetual Motion (just a figure of speech) Institute.

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

'Take this report and reduce it to an acronym.'

'I'll have a BLT.' 'ASAP or PDQ?'

'"Silent killer'?! That's your nickname? That's so cool Dad!"

Having finished writing his latest 400-page novel, Anton Chekhov divides it into 32 short stories,

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

What's STM? Seize the moment!