Ancient Stories Aficionado T-Shirts

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Minos' Clemeney

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

'Oh, I just remembered...you wanted me to remind you to tell the unicorns the ark is shoving off.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Don Quixote

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Falstaff

Those Were The Days

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Sphinx Comes Alive

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

"It's called 'Pizza maker scratching his knee.'"

We speak hieroglyphics here.

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Don't forget the screenplay."

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

"Are you sure you need to make a large print version available?"

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

'Yes, they've been fact-checked!'