Ancient Myths Aficionado Gifts

"The oracle demands the sacrifice of a virgin or an update of its operating system."

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

Tut and Carmen.

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Venus

Vlad the Impala

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Lady of the bath...

'Where was the TSA?'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Here be dragons.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

Neptune

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Bigfoot"

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

Wotan with eye patch

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Warrior Woman

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'...this is Loch Lomand!'