Ancient Language Lover Pillows

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

Lines - "It's all Greek to me....."

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

Talk like an Egyptian

"I can't make head nor tail of these confounded emoticoms."

'This was a class in hieroglyphics as a second language.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

I will study my speling words...

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Punctuation Police

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Wok. Don't Wok.

'The Questioner'