Ancient Comedian T-Shirts

'Ha, ha! -- Neanderthals can't jump!'

Carbon Dating Agency

'Here come two of them now -- Set clubs on 'stun.''

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"Come on, Og, get with it. Everybody's putting their stuff on 'the cloud' these days."

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

'...I thought maybe your brain had developed the ability to reason before mine.'

'In this pyramid we are unionized. We don't accept more than 50 lashes per day.'

Venus

We love the Rolling Stones...

Pull my finger.

'Kitchen's small, but I love the granite countertops.'

"I didn't discover fire, but I was the first to encircle it with stones."

"I think the lines down!"

'Archaeologists discover the earliest ancient texts.'

The first evidence of dinosaur accidents.

Shopping for Organic Food

It went out. The program must have crashed.

Waxing: 3 Clams

"Oh no! The gods must have been cutting their toenails again!"

'I kill him and you cook him - deal?'

'I can't believe this. . . 'There was a young man from Nantucket...'

"I couldn't put in down boss. Hard hitting, straight to the point..sure to be a best seller."

'Throw in a few bells and whistles and this baby will sell.'

"My parents hate it."

'We lit the fire and we're cooking the meat.' 'Hey - easy with the technobabble.'

"Og is our VP in charge of rubbing sticks together."

'You will too eat it!- It took your father three weeks to catch that rhinoceros!'