Ancient Anecdote Aficionado Pillows

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'Caesar salad?'

Second hand furniture.

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Hot cross buns

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

'Jurassic Pork.'

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

Grandfather Clock

Johannes Gutenberg

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

A new meaning in the Roman

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

'Sorry, I'm married to that one.'

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hang on, I'll Google it.

Lady visiting the 1862 International Exhibition fands that the omnibuses ruin her crinolines

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

"See...polystyrene!"

F&E Antiques. Ernie, tell customers that we restocked our inventory, not that we have "all new antiques."

Barry Cryer.