Ancient Anecdote Aficionado Pillows

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'Caesar salad?'

Second hand furniture.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Hot cross buns

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

Grandfather Clock

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

Johannes Gutenberg

A new meaning in the Roman

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

Lady visiting the 1862 International Exhibition fands that the omnibuses ruin her crinolines

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

'Sorry, I'm married to that one.'

"See...polystyrene!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hang on, I'll Google it.

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.