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"We don't need to go that far into your background."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Crane Game. Ball Game.

The Invention of the Wheel

"Just to be clear, this is a hike, not a ‘walk.’"

Ski kicker.

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

The hazards of trying to film a horse jump.

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

'One of my forebears.'

"Cheer up Skip - worse things happen at sea..."

Even cowgirls get the blues. 'Well, howdy! I've been lookin' for this here B.B. King album forever!'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

Today - Oswald the Human Wonder will Dive 1000 feet into a tea cup. (Lifeguard sitting nearby).

"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?"

'There must be mining occurring in this mountain.'

'Very cool. What else can it do?'

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

A fellow participating in many activities and everything is fine until someone bumps his car and then his back hurts,

"Each year the Kayaks made their way upstream."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

'It kills production when we have to stop the line every thirty minutes for an upgrade.'

Who's your daddy?, INC. It

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."