American Cuisine Pillows

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

Food-Snob Fear Factor

Pink slime hot dogs.

As American as Apple Pie!

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Counting ribs

Domestic Goddess.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Rump roast?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Queen of Quinoa

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Lockdown casserole

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"How's the salmon?"

The Perfect Foil

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'Can we move over there?'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."