Ambiguity Appreciator T-Shirts

'I only keep kingfish.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"I hate it when we fight."

Barcode Dreams

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Leonard! Throw me the car keys!"

"From this you make a living?"

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

Who Let the Dawg In?

'My axe is all dull! -- Have you been using it to shave your legs again?'

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"