Amateur Decorator T-Shirts

Super glue . . .

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

Moving in

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

Tedious Romantic.

'Handyman's Special'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Two portraits kissing each other

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

"It all starts with them having you fetch their slippers."

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'