Amateur Critics Gifts

'Your bad attitude explodes across the living room, keeping me on the edge of my seat.'

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

Filling the Missile Gap

An acceptable level of TV violence.

El Greco

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Rodin's Irish Judge

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

"I told you not to hand in that evaluation form until after we'd docked!"

"The video of our wedding now includes commentary."

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"He was famed for his work in Pantomime"

'It's my latest invention. I call it 'Picture in a picture.'

Editor

Early Cartoonists.

Ezra Pound

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

Art is a cruel mistress.

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

Reaction to movie Brokeback Mountain.

"Your earlier work was better."

"I think what I was TRYING to say with this piece was that I wanted a new car. . ."

Youth caught tagging Stephensons rocket.

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

'I really don't see the point?'