Amateur Carpenter Pillows

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

'Just how much time do you intend spending in this new tool shed of yours?'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Kit-set shelving. Third attempt.

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Too much cilantro

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'Handyman's Special'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

Cat Cooking Bird.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"It all starts with them having you fetch their slippers."

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Thor's Other Tools

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Super glue . . .

'The casserole didn't make it.'

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

'I'm sorry my little Towser misbehaved himself.'

"And when I get to this fancy French restaurant, will they be glad to see me?"