Amateur Brewer Gifts

Workaholic and alcoholic

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"This place has the best happy hour."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'Now what?'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'You've had enough!'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

'I brew it myself.'

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

Tea Snob.

Beer Lunch

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

"You can tatse the slopes, er I mean hops in this."

Now that, my friend, is a beer garden!

"We grind our own catnip."

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

'But our secret ingredient is large quantities of Hilberg beer.'

Lite Beer.

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

Alcohol Ingredients