Always-late Crew Pillows

I was a day late and a dollar short, but it was a personal best!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Cut!

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Local News in Heaven

"Planning, who's got time for planning... I don't even have time to get dressed in the morning."

Hollywood producer.

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

"Wilson, you're still using those training wheels?!"

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

True Story Movie

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"Memo from the top, guys. Apparently the 'casual dress days' are getting a little out of hand"

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'-and what makes YOU so sure my missus is waiting up for me?'

"How about fashionably never?"

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

'It means, like, stop filming...'

'I'm sorry, I can't take part in your survey, I'm not your typical man in the street.'

'Your wife came by and left a message'

'How many times I gotta tell you? Don't pay any attention to which camera has the red light on!'

Kingsley Amis

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."