Always Explaining Things Pillows

"Daddy has a job that's, hard to explain but he's very good at it."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"Useless information"

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

Trivia/Great Literature.

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"Larry does all his own stunts."

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

Baldness Facts

"We're having a test on the states today, and I can never remember which one was number fifty."

'I'm a gnu, but I think the 'N' is silent.'

'Did you know I have 3000 bones in my body?'

'Tell us, in layman's terms, what your breakthrough means.'

Scientists Discover the Gene for Heterosexuality in Men

'It's not bad enough that he explains everything... He even explains his explanations.'

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

'The problem's too simple - call someone else'

Fixing the light

"I'm for universal coverage but not for cats."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 4

He'd get to the broken porch just after he fixed the broken axle, the broken stall and his broken dreams.

'The spare's flat too, honey. Toss me that fruitcake.'

"Sometimes, I wish we'd never invented football."