Altruism Advocate Gifts

Help - "What's in it for me?"

"Young man, you're the only one who bothered to stop!"

"It says here that you gave a lot of money to both parties and neither expected nor received anything in return. Very nice, but we'll have to put you in the crazy section."

'It is clear how this contribution helps your charity, but how does it benefit me?'

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Job centre: 'Have you considered becoming an organ donor?'

Water carriers/bearers.

"I'm not the same old $20-contribution person I used to be, you know, Marlene."

"You haven't said 'Thank You' once."

A sign that times are tough.

'I've changed my mind, I'm using all mine!'

Too Big To Fail.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Be kind"

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

"I don't leave home without it!"

Alms Bank

'Sharing is saying you're my friend, without having to say 'you're my friend'.'

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

'I don't know why I'm so unpopular - I haven't got a nasty bone in my body.'

Be an Anti-Bullying Hero! Choose Respect.

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

African shadow

"Should I just give him the £2.50 or does that look cheap. . . would he say anything if I just walked past?"

"It's a full-blown empathy attack!. . . help me sneak him out of here before this thing spreads through the entire company!"

Tree and bear hugging.

'Can't you stop being charitable, we are on vacation.'

"We've agreed we need more workplace kindness. Let's move on to enforcement."

The Poor Man Donating Love to the Rich

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

"So anyway, I found a worm on the path the other day and carried it to safety. Then I hear: 'Hey! I was heading the other way!"

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

UK street artist Banksy puts his money where his graffiti is