Alternative Style Gifts

'I know it's a cry for help, but couldn't you just, like, say, 'Help?''

"It's getting harder and harder to be different around here."

Emo

Vincent Van Goth

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Punk Reindeer

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

The Mainstream

REPENT! Get back to nature

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Library Computer Center: Cybrarian

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

Tough Teddies

Mid-century Father

"I beg to differ."

Ronald was born to Boogie but was stuck in a Square Dancing body.

The Eclectic Chair

Hip Operation

Marilyn Manson Fan.

Homing Beatnik

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

"We're just pleased he can still get into the Christmas spirit."

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

Edwardians.