Alternative Style Gifts

'I know it's a cry for help, but couldn't you just, like, say, 'Help?''

"It's getting harder and harder to be different around here."

Emo

Vincent Van Goth

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Punk Reindeer

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

The Mainstream

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

REPENT! Get back to nature

Punkins

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Library Computer Center: Cybrarian

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

Tough Teddies

Mid-century Father

"I beg to differ."

The Eclectic Chair

'What do you mean - you want a white wedding?'

Carole Lombard

Ronald was born to Boogie but was stuck in a Square Dancing body.

Hip Operation

'After we had him declawed he started taking on a tougher persona to compensate.'

Marilyn Manson Fan.

Homing Beatnik

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"