Alternate Reality Explorer Gifts

'This parallel universe theory is interesting, Dave. Tell me more.'

"Elvis imitators from that universe where Elvis was dull, had an M.B.A., and couldn't sing."

Fast food on a small planet in an almost parallel universe

"I wonder what happened in all those other timelines?"

In case of emergency, break glass.

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Self help acupuncture

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"Pokemon...Pokemon...Pokemon...."

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

Truth

"Social media stocks have taken a beating I'm seeing a lot of avatars on ledges."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

"I'm declawed, but with this headset, I can at least virtually scratch up the furniture."

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

Leftie Trump

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."

Chemistry Improv Theater

"You want proof? There's your proof."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"I'm the nice huggy lady from the government."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'Virtual patient.'