Alteration Artist Pillows

"Now they're not too long."

Romantic Giraffes

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Interpretive napping

"Is that Technical Support? My computer's fine - I just don't know how to operate my chair."

On the internet no one knows you're a nerd.

Artistic license.

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

I'm just amazed at the difference in you since you started dating Picasso!

Tate Modern: Turbine Hall

"My daughter tells me that you work in the entertainment industry?"

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

Multitasking

Sitting Disorder Clinic.

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

Dobbson's False Doorway Company A man has walked into an actual painted Trompe l'oeil False Doorway and has got knocked out .

'Well, Carrie, it's great that you were able to express some of those repressed emotions!'

"It hurts when I do this ... "

"It says here that you're a contortionist and since your accident you've not been able to make ends meet."

It had sounded so good, a class where you get to make a cast of your own face.

Fishermen with no catches are told that there were lots of fish caught a few days earlier

National Union of Contortionists: We vote with our feet

Contortionist

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

Hitching Jesus.

Freedom.

Tall, Dark, and Handsome chats with Buxom Blonde.

'We gather here today in memory of Frank, beloved husband, father, friend and contortionist. . .'

I'm having trouble making ends meet.

"Fancy going on a bender tonight?"