Alter Ego Explorer T-Shirts

"Edward lived fast, died young, and left a very pretty corpse."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

New Road Signs to Watch For:

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Baby rocks!

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'Look man, no wings!'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

Going Down?