Alpha Quester T-Shirts

Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's on of those things you always see an alpha male do: stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Homo Gamus

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Gamers

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

Macho man body building club.

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

Time Travel Research Lab

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

'He's close -- he's developed a unified field theory for everything except anchovies.'

'I became a theoretical physicist because my poor hand-eye coordination precluded me from doing experiments...'

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'