Alpha Philosophers Pillows

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"One year closer to college!"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Questions

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

Life after death

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Macho man body building club.

"It's always a good time to have a good time!"

"You'll get over him."

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

Tom's last day.

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

Dept. de Philosophie

Once entangled, clashing male doctors usually die a slow death by starvation.

"Many of you were confused about the 'Randy's how to be an alpha' lesson from yesterday: 'live like you've got nothing left to lose'."

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"Time travel is real, but only forward and very slowly."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'