Allergy-friendly Foodie T-Shirts

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Don't tell anyone, but I'll have the devil's food cake."

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

Gluten-free Santa

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

Gluten-Free Church

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"Are there nuts in this?"

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

Does this contain garlic?

"What? I have a nut allergy."

"It's gluten/carb/fat/preservative/sugar-free. Enjoy your Celery Supreme."

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

The Last Thanksgiving

'I'm sorry sir, but this highway is lactose intolerant.'

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

'Please sir, does this contain nuts?'