Allergy Amusement Seeker T-Shirts

"Here's Pollen!"

The Zoo.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Wolf Karaoke

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

A Newton's cradle wrecking ball.

Chuck played mean hair guitar.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

Cocktail Piano Bar.

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

"I just love the reactions I get every day when I come to work."

'You mean you don't have a bowling alley on board? And you call yourself a cruise ship?'

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

"What have I told you two about not clowning around?"

I'm nervous, Sadie. Relax, Darlene. It's your bachelorette party. But an all-male revue – It sounds gross. Men go to strip clubs, why can't we? Besides, this place is a classy international venue. Palais des Beefcakes? Show us your pecs!

Ventriloquism For Beginners

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

'I can't help but wonder if somewhere, someone isn't watching a TV with a larger screen.'

'...No, you're not going to be chillin' at a crucially cool awesome rave. It's Daniel's birthday party.'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

'How about a game of cards?'

"This island may not have food or water, but it does have wiring for streaming services. Too bad we didn't put a TV in the life raft."

'Well, this is a first- you seem to be allergic to distilled water.'

Busker

'I understand your trainer used to be a dog trainer.'

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators … Armstrong skis down a pile of his money … Without a helmet. Even that ancient hag Sadie has a dangerous hobby. Every year, in violation of both common sense and local fire safety ordinances, the old lady lights all the candles on her birthday cake. I heard that!!! Fun fact: The 20th century was one of the most brutal in h

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

"Morning!"