All-you-can-eat Aficionado Pillows

You must be this wide to enter the restaurant.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Fast food. Even faster food

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

View to the Future

'What clan do you belong to?'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"We won!"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Menu Dating

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

Fast Food Menu Selections

Church Basement Foodie

'Can I have flies with that'

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

"Robin, lay off the KFC."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Nutrition-Free Diet

Kentucky Fried Horse

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

Happy hour.

"And you guarantee it's free if it isn't delivered within thirty minutes?"

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Teenage Angst.

'It's a good source of calcium and contains plenty of flabonoids.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?